It’s 2017, so now what?


I wanted to do a post on Jan 1st, but hey life happens. I couldn’t remember my password to save my life and I decided not to reset my password. *Shrug* December 31st was pretty uneventful and boring to say the least. I went to the ABC store and grabbed a couple of bottles for Mr and I…I’m trying to be a team player now. He wanted us to get a lil tipsy and do tha tango. (Of course…) I was all down for the tipsy part and struggling as usual with the “tango.” I was nervous as hell because my period was a day late. I was like we ain’t had relations but once and that was not that long ago for me to be preggers, but I was nervous to say the least. Being 40 knowing that your time is winding up as far as reproducing can be nerve wracking in itself, especially when you know you want another baby. <—yeah, I do. I’m honest with myself in that regard. But outside of that we got our drank on and then *BOOM* Mother Nature showed up and I was glad. I felt guilty for being glad… so then he asked for “Special Attention.”

This is something that I have been struggling with lately. When I say there is little to no attraction….none. I don’t know what to do to get it back. I get irritated when he even mentions anything remotely related to us touching. I need to know what is wrong with me. I feel attraction to others…like I find other men attractive and I can imagine doing thangs with them, but anything with my husband turns me off. I can’t explain it and I’m trying to get around it, but it never seems to dissipate.

I’m feeling guilty and I hate to just do it just because he wants to because I wanna want it too. But I don’t. I’m content without it from him. I dunno, it’s not the medication I’m on. It can’t be, because it’s him. Anyway, I’ll let y’all go, let’s just say, Happy New Year and hopefully it will be better than the last because Jan 1st was already off to a rough start.



~ Phatgurllove~ (c) 2017


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